How does an Indian family function?

Globally a lot of people are attracted to Indian culture and traditions. Some of them from a spiritual angle, while others because of the potpourri of things which shouldn’t be existing together.

When I moved to Bulgaria, I realized that there is a surprising amount of interest to know more about India. How is the family structure? What is women’s role in the household? Are all Indian kids so competitive? It was a plethora of questions which I will try to answer through different articles. За да прочетете статията на български, можете да инсталирате плъгин Google Преводач от тук.

Let’s talk about the base of it all – Indian Nuclear family structure

Since ancient times India has been known to have a nuclear family structure. Led by the Father and mother, all brothers and sisters stayed together under the same roof. They had their families and kids who grew up together. So you get the picture, one large happy family. The father and mother are always the leaders of the house.

My dad had 12 siblings, while some of them unfortunately passed away the remaining 6 grew as kids together.

The bond between them still exists after 70 years in spite of most of them moving to different places due to work or other reasons.

I belong to Gen X. As a kid I grew away from my cousins since my father had to move away because of his job. But my vacations have fond memories of all my uncles and aunts visiting each other with their kids for an extended stay. Probably that is the reason why as of today all my cousins are in touch and we talk almost every day. Believe me this is no easy feat when I am in Bulgaria, two of my cousins are in Australia, and one each in Canada, Spain and India.:)

Patriarchal society

Probably the reason why it is so is because we believe in the phrase – Vasudhaive Kutumbhakam. This literally translates to – The whole world is my family. Indians emphasize on loyalty and interdependence, we feel better when we have a safety net of our family. Even though it is a predominant patriarchal society many women led households are coming to the forefront in recent times.

My wife was amazed when we went shopping in a mall in India, when she saw husbands and boyfriends standing outside changing rooms with clothes for their better half. At times some of them were even running back and forth getting the right sizes for them to try on.

Gender bias in Indian culture

In old times there was a huge inequality in gender roles. A man and a woman were treated differently and had their roles defined. Over a period things have changed and in any house a brother and sister get a similar treatment. Girls compete with boys shoulder to shoulder may it be the field of education, sport,  jobs or business.

Educated women in society are becoming more empowered and helping other women to grow.

There still are discrepancies in some areas of the country and some parts of the society but things are changing for the good. 

Etiquettes that Indians follow 

I am sure some will be shocked to read this but almost all of it is still followed. We have utmost respect for our elders and most of the below revolve around ensuring we try not to hurt them or our guests.

1. We never sit with our feet pointing towards our elders or towards our Gods. Feet are supposed to be the dirtiest part of the body and it is considered disrespectful if you do so.
2. We never touch anyone’s head, especially elders. Elders usually touch the head of youngsters when blessing them. It is more or less the most important part of our body and it is like invading personal space.
3. We almost never eat with our left hand, or even pass anything with our left hand. Left hand is supposed to be for cleaning. That’s forgiven if you are left handed. 🙂 I have heard stories where parents have forced a left handed kid to use their right hand :D. 
4. No matter how old you grow, Indians are still scared to smoke in front of their dad. In most families even drinking in front of your father is considered disrespectful.
5. We always take off our footwear when we enter our or someone else’s house. We don’t even wear house slippers because the house is usually swept and mopped twice a day and is extremely clean.
6. Athiti devo Bhava is an age old adage which means guest is next to god and no matter who visits your house they are treated with respect.
7. Any household decisions are always run by elders first. Everything is discussed as a family and then a decision is made.
8. Even by mistake if we touch anyone with our feet we ask for forgiveness, even if it is a kid. Hence usually when someone touches me with their feet even unintentionally I do not take it kindly.
9. In India we are supposed to look after our parents in old age. It is a child’s responsibility to provide for their parents no matter where they are.
10. Our culture teaches us to do household chores at a very early age. Hence, you will barely find an Indian who cannot do basic cooking, house cleaning and cannot survive in any situation. 🙂 Yes we even do dishes not in the dishwasher but hand washing them. If the washing machine breaks down? No problem, we will hand wash our clothes.

What I have mentioned is true in most cases but as all of us know it’s not atypical to find deviations from what I have said. You will hear stories contrary to the basic facts, but then you need to understand we are a country of over a billion people and not everyone’s the same. Have you read about the Indian Family values yet? Also, don’t forget to read about Indian languages. 🙂

As we move ahead I will introduce you to various areas of our culture, marriage, independence of women, food and much more..

Stay tuned.